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All hail peasant finbar mcginn
let me sit ye upon my knee
tell tale of fisher skirr at sea
by yon fire I shall begin
a ship broke, a drake choked
great dragon filleted end to end
dismal demise for uhl feshtee
all hail hero finbar mcginn
all hail high king finbar mcginn
no longer irrelevant flea
this master of royal decree
be wary a splendid shoo-in
daggers and cloaks, some ne'er awoke
power yields sin, 'spite origin
till rebels drowned bastard at sea
all hail tyrant finbar mcginn
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Written in Double Octain form for One Stop Poetry.
Lazy this week, so linking this for One Shot Wednesday too. :D
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This is so clever - the subtle change from peasant to tyrant, the use of the vernacular, and damn fine story-telling. I enjoyed it immensely.
ReplyDeletei second kerry - this was really clever and you made it sound rough like a sea tale - just one line the syllable count is a bit off-track
ReplyDeletedaggers and cloaks, some never awoke - has 9 syllables but all the rest looks perfect to me - very nice!!
Fixed. "Never" to "ne'er". Yay poetic contractions! :D
ReplyDeletenice...love the rhymes...and the tale...filleting the dragon eh...bet that makes for some big steaks...fav line "power yields sin, 'spite origin"
ReplyDeleteVery creative word filleting. You've made them jump through hoops and like it--and I like any poem that contains the word yon AND dragons. (I'm just weird that way.) Seriously, enjoyed this, and it was very well put together.
ReplyDeleteMatt this is very nice - aye, aye
ReplyDeleteYe spins a rite apt tale...
ReplyDeleteNow fetch me some Ale!!!
A clever poem and tale, well written. It brought to mind a poem I wrote years ago called `Pirate Wench` lol.
ReplyDeleteAnita.
Sounds like the rise and fall of many a politician.
ReplyDeleteWhat a tale you told while keeping the form and rhyme scheme that was set by Luke. I had quite a difficult time with mine and yours seems so easy and well achieved. (bet it wasn't though) So well done you. Excellent job! Thanks, Gay
ReplyDeleteVery creative and clever :)
ReplyDeletei love his name just as much as anything. you had me at Finbar McGinn...lol
ReplyDeleteWell done!
ReplyDeleteHi Matt
ReplyDeleteThe vernacular use was perfect and your shifting thoughts and character even more enjoyable.. I liked it so much...
Shashi
ॐ नमः शिवाय
Om Namah Shivaya
http://shadowdancingwithmind.blogspot.com/2011/05/whispers-buddha-and-life.html
At Twitter @VerseEveryDay
Nice take at the high octain. Very enjoyable.
ReplyDeleteGreat High Octain Matt, I loved his climb up the ladder all the way off! Great write! ~ Rose
ReplyDeletevery nice flow .... yes, power can corrupt and get you cast into the sea ... loved that line on power and origins.
ReplyDeleteOohh... I like that transformation from peasant to tyrant!
ReplyDeleteAnd what with the recent Pirates movie, I am totally IN for the language as well!!
Much enjoyed this!
I'll drink a pint in honor of ole'McGinn! Made me feel like I was in a seaside pub in Middle Earth! Love it!
ReplyDelete